All I Want
by Addison Griffin
Summary: Clarke Griffin is 18 years old and has just graduated high school. She is beginning her freshman year, studying premed when she meets someone who will change her life, but Clarke has a secret and she's worried it will ruin everything.
1. Chapter 1: College, Baby

Clarke POV

"Honey, just go. She'll be fine with me."

"But-"

"No, Clarke. You can't miss the first day. I know it's hard leaving her, but I will call you if anything happens." My mom was practically shoving me out of Elise's room where she was fast asleep in her bed.

My 7 year old sister, Charlotte was sitting at the counter, Frozen themed back pack on, waiting for my dad to come get her for school. Why my mom brought her with, I wasn't really sure.

15 minutes later I was standing in the courtyard at the college. Trying to figure out where I was supposed to go for algebra.

And that was when I saw her. I watched as her wavy, brown hair blew in the wind and the confused look on her face as she stared down at what I assumed was her schedule.

I was getting this weird feeling in my stomach just looking at her from the side and it was a feeling I hadn't felt since I first met Bellamy. God, I really need to stop staring.

I really wished Octavia and Raven were here so I didn't look like such a loner, but Raven was just now getting Octavia out of the door because she woke up late.

This college wasn't exactly huge, but I had no idea where I was going and the map on my phone wasn't helping much, seeing as I didn't know what direction I was facing to begin with.

I looked up to see this stranger looking at me, she snapped out of her face when she noticed I'd seen her staring, "I'm lost."

I smiled, "Same."

"At least I'm not the only one."

Damn she had some pretty eyes.

"Well, I have algebra and I have no idea where that is." I said, checking the map on my phone again.

"So do I." She was now trying to figure something out on her phone, "Am I blind or is this map just pointless?"

"I was thinking the same thing. I guess we could do what I did on my first day of high school and just wander until we find it?"

"That's more of a plan than I had." She smiled at me again as we began walking.

Her smile was honestly the cutest thing Id ever seen. Her eyes were the prettiest eyes id ever seen and- God, I need to focus on class and not on her perfection. I can't flunk out of college because of one girl.

Octavia: Who's the hottie? ?

Me: None of your business. And where are you? Creep.

I nearly ran into the back of- I just realized I didn't actually know her name- her as she stopped abruptly, pointing to the room number and teacher name.

"I found it."

Octavia: I walked up as you two were walking away. Who is she?

Me: Why do you always have to assume I'm into everyone I meet?

Octavia: I saw you staring, stupid.

Father❤️: You, me, lunch.

Me: I'll text you at my lunch time. Normal place?

Father❤️: of course.

Me: Can you bring Elise?

Father❤️: If your mother will hand her over.

I put my phone back in my pocket and followed mystery girl in and to the back row of seats.

"I'm Lexa, by the way." She said as we took our seats.

"Clarke."

The rest of the morning was pretty boring. I had no more classes with her and I had all of the most boring classes to sit through.

I was now on my way down the street to Cafe Leo, my dad and I's normal lunch spot. As I was about to walk in, my leg was attacked in a death grip.

"Hi, mommy." I looked down to see Elise smiling up at me.

"Hi, baby. Where's grandpa?"

"I'm right here. She kinda got really excited when she saw you." My dad said as he walked out of the cafe. "She's a little hyped up after sleeping for 2 hours."

"What? She never naps that long for me."

My dad put his hands up in surrender, "Don't look at me, I just picked her up."

"I swear mom has some secret that she's not telling me."

"I don't know, but I'm too hungry to figure it out right now."

"Elise, what do you want?" I asked watching as she bounced all over the place next to me at the booth.

"Macaroni!" She squealed, throwing down a crayon.

"I don't know why I ask. She always wants macaroni."

"She's just like you."

After lunch, Elise threw a fit as my dad had to pull her from me so I could go back to class.

"You never told me who the hottie was." Octavia said, grabbing onto my arm as I made my way onto campus.

"Her name's Lexa."

"You so like her."

I raised my eyebrow at her, "I just met her."

"You're face is red." Octavia pointed out, giggling.

"Why do you think this is so funny?"

"You haven't been on a date in almost three years."

"That's what happens when you have a baby with someone and break up. Besides, I don't have time to date when I have a psycho two year old."

"You just don't think anyone would date you because you have a kid."

"Exactly."

"Oh, come on." Octavia groaned. "If you don't talk to her, I will."

"Stay out of my business, O." I said, "And I have my first class with her, so I have plenty of time."


	2. Chapter 2:Hey There

Clarke POV

"You haven't told her about Elise?" Octavia practically shouted.

"There just hasn't been a good time to bring it up." I said ,taking a sip from my mountain dew, trying to avoid what Octavia was about to say.

"You two have known each other for two weeks now and you're closer than the skin is to your face. If you just tell her now, she won't get mad later at you for hiding something from her."

"I just don't want her to get scared away by the fact that I'm 18 with an almost 3 year old."

"I've met this girl once and she doesn't seem like she'd be the person to freak out because you have a kid." she said, "And you're not in high school anymore."

"I just-"

"Clarke, if you ever want to be with her, you have to be honest about everything first."

"I know, but-"

"No, if you just tell her now before you two actually get involved. It'll save you a lot of heart break if she does freak out."

"What am I supposed to say? Hey, I had a baby at 16. So how was you're day?"

"Just tell her you need to tell her something and that it's important."

I threw my head back on the couch and let out a groan, covering my face with my hands.

"You'll be fine."

***

Lexa left to go to the bathroom, leaving her phone on the couch. I took this as my chance to mess with her phone. In the time she was gone I managed to take 200 pictures of myself and change her lock screen to a picture of a big dog stuck in a doggy door.

As she came back I pretended to be really interested in my phone, texting someone.

"What the hell did you do to my lock screen?"

"I didn't do anything. I've just been minding my own business." I said, keeping my gaze on my phone.

"You're terrible." She mumbled, "How many pictures did you take on my phone? God, Clarke."

"Next time you'll remember that I can't be trusted with a phone, alone."

"You took 200 hundred pictures. I'm posting some of these as your punishment."

I just smiled at her, trying not to giggle, "You're lucky you're cute."

"You're lucky, you weren't gone for another 30 seconds. You know that background is cute."

"It's terrible. The dog is stuck and he looks so sad."

"Wow, soft much?" I asked. She tossed a pillow at me, mumbling that I should shut up and how she wasn't soft and that I was just mean. She was cute when she was being pouty, so I thought I'd just sneak a pic on my phone and Instagram it.

princessgriffin: She's being mopey because I spammed her phone with pictures and changed her lock screen while she was gone. #shelovesme

octaviablake: I should have warned her ?  
ravenreyes: how cute? ﾟﾘﾍ  
princessgriffin: shut up, both of you  
lexawoods: I am not being mopey. You're just being creepy with pictures  
princessgriffin: lexawoods you're cute

***

"You like her." Octavia said.

"So what?" I asked through a bite of peanut butter and banana sandwich.

"Well, anyone whose blind can see that she's totally into you." Octavia said, biting her lip, "And I might have texted her..."

"You did what?" I shrieked, "What did you say?"

"I didn't tell her that you've had the hots for her since you first met, if that's what you're wondering."

"Who has the hots for who?" Raven asked, bursting through the front door with a bag of something on her arm.

"Clarke-"

Raven didn't even let Octavia finish, "I knew it."

"Would you two shut up?" I asked, getting up from the couch trying my best to avoid all eye contact as I went to check on Elise who had been napping for two hours now.

"Have fun telling her about your kid." Raven said, mockingly.

"I hate you."

"You love me." I rolled my eyes and walked into Elise's room. She suddenly came running towards me, throwing herself into my arms.

"I heard auntie O!" She squealed in my ear as she wrapped her arms around my neck, "And auntie Ray."

"Then why don't you go get them?" I asked. She let go of me and practically sprinted to the living room, screaming the whole time.

"Mama, when do I see Daddy?"

"Two days."

"That too long." She gave me a grumpy face that was really cute.

"You'll live. I promise, but right now you need to eat something." I said, poking her nose.

"Mac and cheese!" She squealed.

"I'm down for that." Raven said.

"Me too." Octavia agreed.

"With Clarke cooking?"

"Shut up Raven."

"Mama, dat bad word." Elise said, putting her fingers on my lips.

"Geez, Clarke, get it together." Raven scoffed.

"Octavia has said much worse in front of her."

"I did that once." Octavia defended.

"You said like all of the swear words in one sentence."

"That is completely beside the point."

"Sure it is."

***

"Ten bucks Clarke's drunk within the hour." Lexa looked to Octavia and Raven as she said this.

"Why do you guys always think so lowly of me?"

"Clarke, the last time we took you out, you drank a lot and we had to call Bellamy to carry you home." Octavia said, giving me a skeptical look. "After you fell off of one of the tables and nearly broke your ankle."

"That was like 3 months ago." I said, "And my ankle hasn't been the same since."

Raven giggled, "How are those heels doing?"

"I only tripped once on the way here." I pointed out, "So they're doing pretty good."

And 45 minutes later Lexa was doing her best to keep me on my feet. Raven and Octavia were forcing drinks on me, and they were really good so it made it hard to say no especially with a certain someone sitting right there looking at me with those piercing green eyes.

"God, Clarke. Why did you think it was a good idea to put heels on?" Lexa groaned, keeping a hold under my arms.

"I don't look as short." I slurred, giggling at her, "You're cute."

"And you're drunk."

I couldn't help but let my eyes drift between her lips and her eyes. There were so many things I wanted to say at this moment, but my drunk mind was having problems putting them into words. My mind was a literal jumble. I'd only known her for a month, but if felt like months.

"I'm so into you, it's crazy." 


	3. Chapter 3: Cat's Out of the Bag

Clarke POV

I nearly fell out of the bed as I woke up to someone's arms wrapped around my waist. The arms belonged to Lexa. What the hell happened last night?

My head was pounding and I felt like I was going to puke.

What did drunk Clarke do? That was the question of the day.

Me: O, what the hell happened last night?

Octavia: You were so drunk you kinda spilled the beans to Lexa. Btw I'm in the room next to you. How do you feel?

Me: like someone hit me with a baseball bat and twisted my stomach together.

Octavia: I'll get you some aspirin

Me: thanks o

i put my phone back down. The light and the vibration were making my head worse. I'd never been so glad for Elise to be with Bellamy.

Lexa groaned, turning more towards me and burying her face into my neck.

"You two look comfy." Octavia smirked as she brought me aspirin with some water.

"I don't remember anything from last night."

"Clarke, do you have a shirt on?"

I moved the blanket to see that I was in my bra and a pair of spandex that had been on under my dress. Whoops. I noticed my red dress from last night laying on the floor along with my black high heels.

"This is why I'm not allowed to drink." I muttered laying back, burying my face into my pillow. "What exactly am I not remembering?"

Octavia smiled as she pulled her phone out of her pocket and turned the screen to me. On the screen was a picture of Lexa and I totally making out last night. I really must've said a lot last night.

"You took a picture? That's not creepy."

"What? I knew you probably wouldn't remember it." She said, turning her phone back I then heard a camera shutter, "You two are so cute."

"I would jump on you, but I feel like death and she's got a really strong hold on me."

"You also don't have a shirt on." She smirked at me before casually making her way out of the room.

I guess what I've learned from this is that drunk Clarke is the only one courageous enough to say everything on her mind, including feelings that had been on her mind for over a month. All I could think of was what I must have said last night.

Octavia: I'm making pancakes by the way.

Me: I'm gonna puke. And this phone vibrating is killing my head.

Octavia: Ravens helping because she doesn't trust me not to burn anything. Including the apartment.

Me: I'm seriously going to puke just thinking about it.

Octavia: I'll eat for the two of us. don't forget to put a shirt on.

Me: shut up

I decided that I should probably get out of bed, but it was a little hard when Lexa's arms tightened even more around my and she groaned. I turned back to see green eyes staring at me and a really sleepy smile.

"How long have you been staring at me?"

"A few minutes. And it's not staring, it's gazing."

"If you keep squeezing me this hard, I might puke on you."

She just giggled at me, "You don't have a shirt on."

"And whose fault is that?"

"Definitely not mine." She said, "But, quick question. Where'd you get that scar from on your stomach?"

She was referring to the c-section scar across the lower part of my stomach. I'd honestly completely forgotten that she would have seen that when she took my dress off. She was going to find out about Elise eventually, but I didn't really want to go into the details of it.

I must have zoned because she said, "I mean you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to-"

"I can think something that I want to do-"

She smiled and giggled again before leaning in and pressing her lips to mine. And it was pretty great, her lips were soft and tasted like strawberries. I know, weird, but I'm pretty sure that was her Chapstick.

"Are you gonna remember this time?"

"No ones getting me drunk right now, so I would hope so." I mumbled against her lips, "I should probably be dressed. It's like 10:30."

"But-"

"You're still in your dress from last night, so you don't need to do anything, but I basically have nothing on."

"We're all girls, who cares?"

"And Octavia thinks it's funny to draw a smiley face on my stomach with my scar."

"That doesn't really surprise me."

Raven suddenly ran by in a sports bra and spandex screaming at Octavia not to do something. They had just started dating a few months ago and were honestly pretty damn cute.

Octavia came running by with the pancake batter covered spatula. This was being so helpful for my head. Thanks guys.

My phone decided to vibrate then with a text.

Bellamy: What time do you want me to bring Elise today?

"Who's Bellamy?"

"Octavia's brother."

Me: 6 or 7 works. What time are your classes tomorrow?

Bellamy: noon to around 5.

Me: Do you want to keep her later?

Bellamy: I know you miss her, so I'll bring her back around 7.

He knows me too well. He always would take Elise Friday after classes and keep her through Sunday night. He lived and hour away for college and weekends were the best time for him to take her. But I always texted him to make sure she was ok and to say how much I missed her.

Bellamy: she's also throwing a fit and wants to see you. one question. Have you told Lexa about her?

Me:... Maybe...

Bellamy: Clarke!

***

"Dude, it's been a week you need to tell her." Octavia said, "If you don't do it soon, I will."

And she wasn't lying when she said that because we were now sitting in the living room about to play never have I ever. Even Raven looked like she was up to something.

"Never have I ever dated one of my best friends siblings."

I groaned as I picked up my drink, "Do you guys hate me?"

They just giggled.

"Ok, fine if you want to play that way. Never have I ever dated my best friend of 13 years."

Raven and Octavia drank.

"Never have I ever dropped my phone in the toilet." Raven said.

Lexa and I both took a drink.

"Clarke you should drink double because you dropped yours in the toilet twice." Raven added.

"You were the one who knocked it into the toilet the second time and my parents almost murdered me because they had to get me a new phone again."

"Never have I ever slept with my best friend's brother." Octavia said, looking directly at me.

"Dammit." I took another drink. "You guys hate me."

Raven smirked, "Never have I ever taken a pregnancy test."

And once again I had to drink. Lexa was honestly finding this way funnier than it was. Octavia and Raven were slowly revealing things and trying to get me.

Now it was Lexa's turn, "Never have I ever had sex with someone while drunk."

Octavia and Raven both drank.

I looked at Octavia, "Never have I ever told my brother one of my best friends secrets."

Octavia drank, she knew exactly what I was talking about and so did Raven.

"Never have I ever been pregnant."

Dammit. I drank again, recieving a weird look from Lexa and smirks from Octavia and Raven.

Lexa seemed to be getting suspicious at this point, but still didn't say anything.

"Never have I ever had a baby."

Before they could force me to drink, my phone started ringing and I saw my mom's face pop up. The only reason I was worried about answering was because was babysitting right now. And she wouldn't call if it wasn't important.

I put my phone to my ear and the first thing I heard was Elise wailing in the background causing me to jump slightly.

"Did she run into something again?" I asked.

"No, she's just really sick."

"Do I need to come get her?" I asked, hoping she'd say no.

"No, I'll bring her to you. "

"how bad is she?"

"She has strep and she's been throwing up for the past two hours. She probably needs to go to urgent care. It's really bad."

"Do you want me to just meet you there?"

"Yeah, that would probably be the best idea."

Two hours later I was finally back home with Elise and the antibiotics she needed to take. She wasn't crying anymore, but she was still really whiney and needed to be put to bed. Which might be a little difficult because she was gripping tightly around my neck, as if her life depended on it.

"Son of a bitch!" Octavia shouted, bending over to pick something up. She caught sight of me and quickly covered her mouth as all three of the girls just looked to me.

"Why do you look suspicious?" I asked, eyeing all three of them.

"We were just telling Lexa about your life story for the past 3 years." Raven said.

Raven and Octavia were terrible at telling stories, they always changed details and basically made it sound a lot worse than it was. So, I was a little skeptical of them telling Lexa about my 15 and pregnant story.

"Give me 5 minutes." I said, adjusting Elise in my arms before taking her back to her room. I changed her into her Olaf pajamas and put her down in bed. I went to stand back up, but she muttered about not wanting me to leave. So, I crawled into bed with her and pulled her close to me.

I planned only to stay until she fell asleep, but after five minutes found myself slowly falling asleep.

Lexa POV

"Clarke dated Octavia's brother for almost three years. She got pregnant after they'd been dating for four months and Octavia found out and spilled the beans to Bellamy." Raven said.

"I didn't mean to tell him, but he can tell when I'm hiding something." Octavia said, defensively.

"That's probably why she wanted me to go with her to get the test."

"And you're better with crying people."

"Yeah because you and Clarke are the ones always crying."

Octavia scoffed, "I don't cry that much."

"You cried like a baby yesterday when we watched Marley and Me."

Octavia rolled her eyes and threw herself back on the couch, "It's a sad movie."

"You cried for like an hour and a half afterwards." Raven pointed out. I figured I'd just stay out of this one besides they were spilling information and I didn't want them to give me the silent treatment because I made them mad.

"How long does that place take? She's been gone for over an hour." Octavia said, "I'll just snap chat her."

A few minutes later Clarke sent her a picture of- Elise? with a mask over her mouth with the caption, 'Someone's a little grumpy'

Another hour passed and Octavia had resorted to throwing things. She dropped her phone on the floor, "Son of a bitch."

She said this just as Clarke walked in with the two year old. Octavia's eyes widened as she covered her mouth.

Clarke narrowed her eyes at us, "Why do you look so suspicious?"

"We were just telling Lexa your life story for the past three years."

She looked skeptical about that, but adjusted Elise on her hip and said, "Give me five minutes."

20 minutes passed and Clarke still wasn't back, so Octavia and Raven made me go back to see what was going on, saying that she probably fell asleep or something, like she always did.

I walked into Elise's room to see her curled up in Clarke's arms and there was no mistaking that they were both dead asleep. I took a quick picture because honestly, Clarke was like the cutest sleeper ever and Elise was kind of adorable too.

"They're both asleep." I said, falling back onto the couch across from Raven and Octavia.

"Guess you're sleeping alone tonight."

"Shut up, Raven."


	4. Chapter 4: Sick Mama

Clarke POV

I woke up with my throat burning and I found myself puking multiple times before 7am came around. Elise had given me her sickness. I knew it probably wasn't a good idea to be that close with her, but she wasn't feeling good, so what was I supposed to do?

Elise still had a fever and wasn't feeling great, but she wasn't crying constantly and was actually asleep in her bed and it was after 8. Elise always woke me up anywhere from 5:30 to 8, so it was weird for her to be asleep, but it was helpful for that fact that I felt like literal shit.

I gently moved Elise from me, so I could go get changed into pajamas and go sleep in my own bed for a few more hours before she woke up. I walked into my room and wasn't surprised to see Lexa curled up under the covers drooling on my pillow that she claimed not to touch.

I quickly changed into my pajamas and crawled into bed and being met with half open, green eyes staring back at me. It only lasted a few seconds because I rushed back to the bathroom puking up whatever was left in my stomach, Lexa must have followed me because she had a hold of my hair as I sat back against the bathtub, not wanting to stand back up.

My throat hurt ten times worse than it did when I was up earlier and I'd already looked for something to help it and came up empty. I knew being that close to Elise would maybe get me sick, but I should've worried about it more because now there were two of us sick and it could spread faster with two people than one.

I rested my head on Lexa's shoulder. This was the most comfortable I was going to get. Just the fact that she was so close to me, if I was her I would be staying as far away as possible because I'm pretty sure I look like death and sound like it.

***

Elise was being really stubborn. She was refusing take the medicine that was supposed to make her feel better so I had to resort to desperate measures.

"Fine, I'll make you a deal."

She didn't move from her grumpy stance in the kitchen.

"If you take this, I'll give you ice cream for dinner."

I'd honestly never seen anyone take medicine so fast in my life.

I looked over at Lexa, "What? You're parents never tried to bribe you?"

"Maybe once or twice."

"You're such a liar."

She sighed, "My parents weren't exactly strict."

Father❤️: Me, you. Lunch. Usual place. We need to talk. 12:30.

Oh god. He was being vague in text message. This was never good.

"Geez, babe, what did you do this time?" I rolled my eyes at Lexa as she stood over my shoulder.

"I honestly have no idea." I said, sounding like a smoker. Elise had gotten me sick and honestly, the worst part was not kissing Lexa. It'd been maybe half a day since I'd kiss her and it was going to be the death of me.

"You have fun with that. I have to meet Anya for lunch anyway and then I'm staying with her tonight so you'll have to figure out what to do without me."

"I guess I'll just have to watch Netflix by myself then."

***

"Dad." I warned, "You wanted to talk about something and now you're stalling."

He folded his hands together, finally looking up, "I have a brain tumor. There's nothing more to stop the growth."

I don't know why I asked the next question, but I did, "How long have you known?"

"I found out about the tumor 7 months ago."

I could feel the anger boiling up in me. He decided to wait 7 months to tell me about a tumor that was going to kill him. What was I supposed to do when my mom had to call because he was dead?

"7 months?! And you didn't think that I should know?" My knuckles were turning white from my grip on the table. I was so mad at him right now. How could he hide something like this from me?

"Honey, I know you're mad, but you've had enough on your plate lately."

"Dad, seriously? You're going to die and you didn't think I should know? That I should find out from mom when she calls to tell me that you're dead from a tumor that I didn't know about?"

People were starting to look over at us, but I didn't care that I was making a scene. I was beyond mad at this point and in no mood to care what other people thought. Did he not think I was old enough to handle this?

I stormed off angrily, keeping the tears in. I couldn't take sitting there any longer. He'd been lying to me for months now. I was still living at home when all of this started and he never said one thing. How had he done such a good job sneaking around?

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I pulled it out to see my mom's face on the screen.

"Dad call you?" i asked with a little too much sass.

 _"Yeah, he did, honey-"_

"Mom, don't tell me not to be mad."

 _"I know you're mad, honey, I wouldn't have expected any differently, but don't stay mad too long."_

"I won't, but I have to be for a little while."

 _"I have to get back to work, but promise me you'll talk to him soon?"_

 _I sighed before saying, "Fine, I promise."_

After hanging up, I realized I need someone to talk to, but Raven and Octavia were out and Lexa was with Anya. I didn't want to bother any of them with my problems. Then I remembered my best friend who was living across the country for college.

 _"Long time, no talk. What's up best friend?" Wells asked._

I sniffled in return, unable to form words to tell him what was wrong.

 _"Clarke, what's wrong? What happened? Did Lexa do something?"_

I sniffled again, "No, it's my dad."

 _"What happened?"_

"He has a brain tumor."

 _"What? That's crazy."_

"And he's known about it for 7 months. He told me today at lunch."

 _"Clarke, I'm sorry."_

"That's not even the worst part. The worst part is that there's nothing left to do about, so he could die at any time." I managed to say through a stream of tears.

 _"I'm so sorry, Clarke. I can come out there-"_

"You don't need to-"

 _"And I haven't seen you since graduation. I have a break coming up in a few weeks. I'm coming out there."_

"Ok."

 _"Ok?"_

"Yes, fine, come out here." I said, sniffling again, but smiling at his persistence.

 _"Good, because I was going to come even if you said no."_

I laughed lightly, "Of course."


	5. Chapter 5: Sugar Rush

Clarke POV

The next morning came around. Octavia and Raven were both home watching Netflix on the couch. I was in a terrible mood, everything was starting to hit me even harder that before. I didn't want to talk about so I convinced them that I couldn't sleep last night- which wasn't an entire lie- and that's why I was in such a crabby mood this morning. I wasn't totally sure if they were buying it or not, but they'd known me long enough to know when not to push me about things.

Lexa must have taken their advice because when she got back around noon, she didn't ask me to tell her what was wrong or even ask why I couldn't sleep. She just tackled me onto the bed and tickled my neck with her nose, giggling the whole time.

She paused, sitting up and relieving me from her death grip, "I have to pee. Don't go anywhere."

"I wasn't planning on it." I said as she dashed out of the room.

She returned a few minutes later and tackled me again, crushing my lungs in the process. She buried her face into my neck, making herself comfortable on top of me. "Are you comfortable?"

She nodded into my neck in response, "Don't drool on me, I get enough of that from the two year old."

As if on cue, I heard the front door open, followed by a loud shrieking noise and footsteps running down the hall. "Mommy!"

I don't know how, but she managed to spring onto the bed and right onto Lexa's back. All I could think of was how much sugar she'd had.

Bellamy walked in, "So, my mom might have loaded her up on sugar."

I groaned, "Great, I'll just start on the coffee now."

Bellamy smiled, "Well, I'm gonna go and leave you be."

The peace only lasted another 30 seconds before Elise decided to roll of of Lexa and almost face plant on the ground. She stood up and took off for the living room, screaming 2 year old gibberish as she did. "Lex, you're gonna have to move."

Lexa groaned into my neck before pushing herself up and standing on the floor. I grabbed onto her hand, getting up and leaving the room to find Elise, who was probably trying to climb onto the counter to get to the food stash.

And I was right. Elise had her hands gripping the counter while she had one foot on the knob to one of the lower cabinets. I stood frozen in place, watching as her hands began to slip. I made a mad dash for her and barely managed to grab her before she slipped.

Lexa was standing in the living room, finding this amusing. That only made Elise giggle as she jumped out of arms and started squealing loudly and running laps around the kitchen island. There wasn't much I could do, but watch and hope she didn't run or fall into something.

3 hours later, Lexa and I were sitting on the couch, hoping Elise would ware herself out at some point. I'd chased her back and forth. I'd taken her to the park, I'd done everything that would normally calm her down, and none of it was working. I was out of ideas at this point and it was approaching 8 pm.

I jolted up at the sound of a collision. I jumped up from the couch with Lexa in tow as I searched for the wild 2 year old. I found her laying on her back in the kitchen as if she'd bounced off of the corner of the counter. Suddenly, her face scrunched up and she didn't just cry, she screamed as tears fell down her face and her nose ran. I bent down to pick her up, cursing silently to myself.

I turned around with the screaming toddler to see Lexa frozen in her spot, looking completely freaked out. It scared me shitless the first time Elise screamed bloody murder after face planting when she was ten months old while attempting to walk for the first time. I also had experience with my sister when she was a toddler, so I was pretty used to it, but it was easier when my mom would take Charlotte off my hands. Now that wasn't an option seeing this was my kid, not my sister and she was my responsibility.

I managed to get a glimpse at Elise's forehead and saw a bruise forming on the left side. That would look great. People always liked to make up every little injury she to be me purposely inflicting it upon her. They seemed to forget that kids fall and run into things. My main concern was that she didn't have any hidden head injury and the people who would judge could just jump off a cliff.

Half an hour later, Elise's crying quieted until I looked to my shoulder to see her passed out completely and drooling on my shirt. I silently high-fived Lexa on the way to take Elise back to her room to put her to bed.


	6. Chapter 6: Little Do You Know

I nearly dropped my phone as my mother told something that I never wanted to hear. I knew it would come eventually, but not this soon. It was too soon for this to be happening. He was supposed to have months left according to the doctor and all of the tests and scans that they had run.

My hand was shaking as it gripped my phone, holding it to my ear. "Honey, I don't know how much longer he has, but you should hurry, he wants to see you."

"Yeah, I'll be there in a few minutes." I muttered quickly before hanging up and searching madly for my shoes. I got my shoes on and scrambled in my purse for my car keys. I didn't need to worry about Elise seeing as she was with Bellamy's mom for the week.

I ran down the hall and didn't bother wasting time with the elevator and instead running down three flights of stairs. I didn't bother catching my breath before running across the parking lot to my car. My hands were shaking so bad that it took me longer than normal to get the key in the door.

Several minutes later I found myself bent over him, sobbing on his shoulder as he put his arms around me, whispering how much he loved me. Charlotte was just on his other side and I backed away to give her a chance with him. But, he stopped me and slipped his watch into my hand.

I felt my mother's arms pull me back to her and we just stood and watched as Charlotte sobbed on his shoulder.

I woke up quickly, feeling tears on my face, I looked around to see that I was in my own bed and that it was 5:30 in the morning. I wiped the tears from my face and laid down, trying to slow down my heart that was beating extremely fast and tried to go back to sleep. But sleep wasn't happening, I couldn't get the call from my mom out of my head, even if it wasn't real. But what if that happened and I never talked to him since the day he told me? What if he died thinking that I hated him?

I needed to see him, so I sent him a quick text. I knew he would be up for work and wasn't surprised when I got a quick reply saying lunch at the normal spot at 12:30, the usual time.

With that I managed to fall asleep and was only woken with the sound of Raven and Octavia banging things around in the kitchen. "Rae, just give me my phone."

"Not until you let me do the cooking for once."

I buried myself deeper into the covers, trying to block out the noise. After that terrible dream, I wasn't in the mood to be around the two in the kitchen. I just wanted to bury myself so far under the covers that I wouldn't be noticed and that they would leave me alone. I knew that I needed to talk to someone before I exploded, but I didn't know how to bring it up. And honestly, I didn't want them to feel bad for me because it would only make me feel worse. Only a week had passed, but everyday that passed, I worried more that it was getting closer to the time when the tumor would kill him and I would get the call that no one ever wants to hear.

After several minutes I came to the conclusion that a shower would be the best way to avoid them and it would be good to shower before going out in public anyway.

"Dad, seriously? You're so embarrassing. We pretty much just started dating and you're already talking about the wedding." I buried my beet red face in my hands, shaking my head.

"What? She seems good for you." He shrugged it off and smiled at my embarrassment. "You do realize we're going to meet at some point, right?"

I nodded into my hands, "Yeah, I know. I can't wait."

He picked up the sarcasm and just played along, "Oh, I know, honey. I know, believe me."

"Promise me, you won't be totally embarrassing."

He nodded and laughed, "Your mother's the one to worry about. She loves to bring out the photo albums. I just make sure she knows what will happen to her if she breaks your heart."

I groaned into my hands once more, "Dad, that's not helping at all."

He laughed in the way he did when he knew he'd accomplished his goal of embarrassing me beyond belief. It hit me suddenly that in the near future I wouldn't hear that laugh anymore or have him here to embarrass me like dads were supposed to do. I wouldn't have him there to walk me down the aisle when I finally got married. There were so many things he wouldn't be here for.

I felt his hand grab mine and realized how my hands had dropped from my face and blinked back the tears threatening to spill over as I looked over at him.

***

I was woken up by a soft tapping on my forehead. I opened my eyes and jumped as I saw Elise's brown eyes staring back at me with tears on her face. I loosened Lexa's grip on me and sat up, doing my best not to wake her.

"What's wrong, baby?"

Her quivered as she looked up at me, gripping onto her baby blanket, "I had a nightmare."

I removed the covers from my legs and got to my feet, bending down to pick up the crying toddler, "We'll just go get you a drink and then go back to bed, ok?"

She nodded in response as she sucked on her thumb, something she did when she was upset. It was rare that she had nightmares, but when she did she always came to me and I would get her sippy cup to rehydrate her and then normally she would end up in bed with me, too afraid to sleep alone in her room.

I set her on the counter before bending down to one of the lower cabinets and retrieving her pink sippy cup. I got her some water before putting the lid on and handing it to her. She was still clearly upset and I really wanted to know what was bothering her so much.

"Baby, what did you dream?" I asked and was surprised by her answer.

"Someone took you and Daddy didn't want me anymore. He left me in the woods with scary things."

I was expecting her to say something about monsters in her dreams or something about being stuck in one of the doors from Monster's Inc, but this one was so real and it scared me a little. Why was she dreaming such terrible things?

"I promise I won't let anything happen to me or you and daddy will never leave, ok?"

She nodded, "Can I sweep wif you?"

"Of course you can, are you ready to go back to bed?" I asked, noting that it was 1:30 in the morning.

She was feeling much better as she dashed down the hall into my bedroom, leaping up onto the bed making a squealing noise as she got very close to Lexa's face. "Elise, be quiet and lay down." I whispered to her as I got in bed, pulling the covers over us. I turned over and looked over Elise to find Lexa staring back at me, before I could say anything, Elise realized that Lexa wasn't asleep and reached up and poked her nose, "Hi, Wexa."

Lexa just rolled her eyes and laughed sleepily.


End file.
